Main Thing Podcast
This podcast encourages others to love God and people by leading them to know and follow Jesus’ truth.
Main Thing Podcast
Teaching Your Children Biblical Identity
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We talk about why families feel under attack and why a child’s identity in Christ often rises or falls with what we model at home. We anchor the conversation in Psalm 139 and challenge the culture of shifting truth, performance-driven parenting, and kids being placed in charge of the household.
• how parents’ identity shapes children’s identity
• gender confusion framed as an identity and worth crisis
• the “God-shaped void” and why people search for validation
• culture’s “my truth” mindset versus objective and biblical truth
• parents finding worth through kids’ achievements and experiences
• practical steps to regain healthy leadership at home
• slowing down childhood and valuing maturity, play, and development
• preparing kids for heavy influence from social media and information overload
• encouragement for parents carrying guilt over grown children’s choices
Main Thing Podcast Welcome
SPEAKER_01Main Thing Podcast with Pastor Steve, equipping you to respond and thrive in the world we live in today. Keep the main thing the main thing has been a saying that Pastor Steve has told for decades. It means no matter what is happening around us, Jesus is what we need to have frequency in our lives. There couldn't be a more powerful reminder for us to recall in today's divisive and dark culture. From foundational truths and scripture to the hot topics of today's culture, allow this podcast to inspire and motivate you on your faith journey. Alright, well, hey my brother, how are you doing today? Thank you. Good, good. We're on episode 49, and I'm glad that you're finally back with us. It's good to be back. Yeah. You allowed us to do a whole series that took about six months, but now we're back to normal.
SPEAKER_00But but I must say I enjoyed hearing from all the other team members myself. So I thought it was very good.
SPEAKER_01Good. Yeah. It was it was a fun time. We enjoyed that. So
Why Family Life Feels Under Attack
SPEAKER_01Brent and I started a series on family. And the reason we started that series is because of the attacks of the family today. And it is prevalent in the church, outside the church. And so we just wanted to touch on some topics that uh either kids are experiencing in school or families are experiencing as a whole. Yes. And um the key scripture today is Psalm 139, 13 through 14, where the scripture says, For you formed my inward parts, you wove me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to you, for I'm fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works, and my soul knows it very well. And I I believe, Steve, that we're living in a culture where uh the majority of people out in the world, they don't believe that God's works are wonderful.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that that's probably true. I'm afraid that even a lot of people in the church who profess to be children of the living God don't necessarily believe that. It's evidenced in uh our positions and belief systems.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And when we're talking about children and their identity being rooted in Christ, it's difficult for children's identity to be rooted in Christ when their parents' identity is not rooted in Christ.
SPEAKER_00Exactly. Um what comes to mind for me is the old saying that was very popular with the generation I grew up with. Your parents would say, uh, do it do as do as I say, not as I do. Right. Right. And uh in the home, if you're not careful, that becomes much more than acute saying. Um you're living one lifestyle, one set of beliefs and principles, and uh demanding your children have something different.
SPEAKER_01Right. Right, absolutely.
Gender Confusion And God’s Design
SPEAKER_01Uh and when when we're talking about that, the the crisis that we see today, the very first thing is gender confusion. Why is there gender confusion today? And what can parents do if their child ever comes home and says, I'm confused about my gender?
SPEAKER_00Well, gender confusion goes back probably three decades. The original group that um set us out on this path was called Act Up. They're based out of California, and they set out with a very detailed plan three plus decades ago to change the view of homosexuality in America. And it's kind of like the dripping faucet effect. Uh they knew they wouldn't do it overnight, but they were very clear that they would do it over time. And so, over time, through the court system, through political operatives, uh, we finally reached a place in America where this has become a mainstream ideology that it's normal. Um, but the fact is, it's not normal. There's nothing normal about gender confusion. Um, and so up until just the last few years, the American Journal of Psychology uh listed gender dysphoria as a mental illness. But under political pressure, they've now removed it. And it's become acceptable even among the psychological community that knows for a fact that it's not normal. Right. And so uh it's it's more of a political uh attack on our society than anything else.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Um, there's um oh man, Sean and Brent, y'all may remember, there's a popular uh movie actor or artist that came out. She had all the surgeries and she's addicted to boxing now. And when you look at her, do y'all know who I'm talking about? It's been circulating right now. Elliot Page or something like that. Anyway.
SPEAKER_02Oh yeah, Elliot Page.
SPEAKER_01Elliot Page. And you look at her, she don't have her shirt on. She looks like a cut man who had all these surgeries, you know, and and everybody's, you know, all saying all these things about how excited they are for her, and like she's she's a man now, and all these things. And it it for us or for me as a believer, it makes me want to vomit. Yeah. You know, because it's going against God's design for his creation.
SPEAKER_00Well, here's the greater issue.
The Real Hunger Behind Identity
SPEAKER_00If a person understands what their worth and value is to holy God, um, then they don't tend to search for worth and value in other places. Right. I mean, the very essence that I want to change who I am to something that I was not intended to be screams that a person believes they're incomplete. There's a hole inside of them, there's something missing. They're searching to put that missing piece in place. And uh so they they desperately hope doing this will fix it. There are several who've come out in the last couple of years who've been through these surgeries now saying uh that they felt used and abused by their parents, by their doctors, uh, and that it was the biggest mistake of their life to do these things. Uh Lewis Pascal said there's a God-shaped void inside of all of us that only God can fill. And so we're created to have a relationship with holy God. And when we don't have that relationship, we don't understand what the Word of God teaches us. We look to fill the void with something else. And and that's really what it all boils down to.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And it's it's this right now, 20 years later, it's going to be something else. That's right. You know, it's just with culture, the pendulum swings.
SPEAKER_00Like bell bottoms and clackers.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01That's right. That's right. We we also see this, and this goes with gender confusion, and to your point, identity crisis, this identity issue that we have, where Louis Pascal, I mean, gets that from Ecclesiastes 3.11. Right. There's a there's eternity inside every man's heart. And um, we struggle with identity, especially in America, because we're constantly comparing ourselves to other people. Families are comparing themselves to other families, and you almost there's this sickness right now that we see where people are not content with being who God made them to be and where he placed them. They always want to be something different and be somewhere else different.
SPEAKER_00Yes. Well, when the Apostle Paul talks about contentment, it's hard for us to really understand uh what that means. Uh, but true contentment is knowing who you are, why you're on planet earth, what your purpose is. Uh and and scripture teaches us those things. You're here to have a relationship with holy God and to live your life to give him honor and glory. That's why you're here. Everything else is a byproduct. And so whether you're digging ditches, whether you're a medical doctor, uh, whether you're a politician, it doesn't matter. Um, the main reason is to live in a way that honors and glorifies Jesus Christ. Scotty Schiffler, the number one ranked golfer in the world, uh, just came out and said, I play golf for one reason, to give God honor and glory. He understands who he is is not a golfer.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_00Golf is what he does to make a living. But the greater understanding of that is it provides a platform for him to tell others about Jesus. Right. And so uh I the the problem with wanting to be somewhere else, be someone else, uh, it's because we don't understand who we're created to be.
SPEAKER_01Right. I think about the Apostle Paul, how God led him to a town to get almost stoned to death, led him to another town to be imprisoned. I mean, Paul was a man that was willing to go wherever God called him, he was content in in those situations. And uh I feel like we've we've become so pansied as a culture where we can't even imagine God calling us somewhere to get paid less or work more because that's where he wants us to go. You know?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I remember um uh a great example of that. Uh we've become so soft, not just as Christian society as a whole, that any little inconvenience, you know, we think God can't possibly be on the throne or he's abandoned us. I remember after Katrina, we had a um a politician, Mary Landriew, I think she was our state senator. She had a camp on Grand Isle. And so you've got power out all across the region. And she called into the power company, wanting to know if they could get the power turned back on to her camp, uh, you know, on Grand Isle. And uh you had people calling in complaining their cable TV uh wasn't working. And so, you know, here you've had a major hurricane that's devastated a huge portion of the state. Uh New Orleans is underwater. Right. Things are destroyed everywhere you look, but my electricity's not on and I can't get my TV working. Um, so I I've come to understand that pain is relative in the sense that um one guy has the most horrible circumstances you can imagine, and that's bad. And another guy has a very small thing happen to him, but in his mind is bad because it's the worst thing that's ever happened to him. And so he doesn't really have a good measuring stick for what bad is.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_00And so in modern culture and a lot, a whole lot of cotton candy preaching, we've reached a place where God is the sugar daddy on the cloud. And the only thing should ever happen in our lives is God give us more good stuff, right? More good experiences. And if that doesn't happen, then he can't possibly be real.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yeah. Which is so interesting that we believe that because I mean Jesus was very clear. If you follow me, you need to die to yourself. That's a pretty graphic explanation, you know.
SPEAKER_00Well, I I don't mean this disparaging, but I'm pretty sure the average Christian has no concept of what that really means.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00You know. Um it it means that you're gonna live your life in totality for Christ, not in your will, but in his will. And the truth is that takes a lot of effort and discipline and submitting to the will of God. Uh, you you don't just do that by attending services here and there. Right. Uh so I'm I'm pretty sure, you know, that that famous book uh by Bonhoeffer, Cost of Discipleship, where Bonhoeffer says when Jesus calls us, he calls us to come and die. Uh and that is written out of the experience of World War II in Nazi Germany, concentration camps. Uh, we have trouble coming out and dying to self just on a daily basis. Right. You know?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
“My Truth” Versus Tested Truth
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Let's pivot a little bit and talk about the cultural definition of truth. What would you say is the worldly definition of truth, and what would you say is the biblical definition of truth?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, the worldly definition of truth as I understand it is whatever truth I want to make up or whatever I believe is true is true. Uh we've been at a very dangerous place in America for a lot of years. Uh, you'll hear this statement from people from time to time, it's my truth. Uh well, from an academic standpoint, uh anybody who understands true philosophy, uh, they understand that truth can be tested. Right. Truth is truth, no matter where it's at, how it's viewed. Truth will stand the test always.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_00And this is where the worldly definition of truth comes up short. Uh, you can jump off the top of this building, and your truth may be it's not gonna hurt when I hit the ground, but you will get a new truth quickly. Uh, you know.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um, and we know that truth is there's such a thing as gravity, and if you jump from 50 feet in the air, it's gonna hurt. Right. Uh that's testable. Uh, but so much of the truth that people grab onto today is just made up in their minds.
SPEAKER_01Right. Yeah, and it's it seems to be that that truth constantly shifts and it constantly changes.
SPEAKER_00It's new on a regular basis.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And it I I think, I mean, when you survey social media and news outlets, and you talk to people, that is celebrated. Yes. It's celebrated because if you believe that's your truth, then that good for you.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01I'm glad I want you to be happy. I'm happy for you.
SPEAKER_00You know, yeah. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Yeah, it's it's really a sickness uh in in our culture and and the understanding of what truth is. Um that's just just creating and making up and pretending. You know, as children, we all pretended. The difference was we knew we were pretending. Yeah. Today you have people pretending and they think it's real. Yeah. Uh they've convinced themselves. I'm sorry, but that's the very basis of mental illness.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
When Parents Live Through Kids
SPEAKER_01Let's talk about the dangers and pitfalls, if we can. Um for as far as families are concerned, there's a movement right now that families find their worth in their kids' achievements or in their achievements. Speak speak to a little bit of that.
SPEAKER_00Well, it's a diseased epidemic in America. Um it's funny, we have a world where we have a shortage of foster parents and adopted parents because so many children are in horrible, unfortunate circumstances. And the opposite of that is we're in a world where parents are worshiping their children. And so they're literally living through their children. The children decide uh what clothes they're gonna wear today, the children decide where we're gonna eat as a family, the children decide where we'll vacation, uh, the children decide the happiness or the unhappiness on a daily basis. The problem is a child does not have the foundation yet to make those kinds of decisions.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_00That's why they call you parents.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00It's your job to guide them uh in those roles, help them understand. Um, anybody that's been a parent understands if your child has the option to eat candy bars for every meal, they're gonna do it. I don't blame them. Candy bars are good, right? Uh, but as a parent, you know that's not best for them. That's not what they need. And so it's become almost impossible for many parents to use the word no. Uh and and to uh the idea they would disappoint their child um is is just beyond them. They can't imagine disappointing their child. And one of the things you're hearing, uh you'll hear this phrase uh you know, spent two weeks in Cooperstown at the World Series, spent way too much money, ate way too much food, exhausted, but boy, did we have great experiences and memories, right? Well, here's the thing about experiences they end. Yeah, they end. It lasted two weeks, now it's over. And you have a memory, and it may have been fun and good, and that's great, but how did it define uh your family going forward? You know, what did it do? Did it add any value to your family, to your children? Did it did it build any character into their life? Did it change the way they think in any way? Um, we had a couple here when I came, uh Sidney and Edith Cayuet. He was a school teacher at South Terrebone forever. And all of their vacations, when I first met them, I thought they were crazy. All of their vacations were educational. Now, they tried to make them fun, but they went to the Smithsonian, they went to the Grand Canyon, they, you know, and then there was teaching moments all along with their children. And what I learned from observing them and talking to them is they didn't have empty experiences where there was no value added to the family or to the children. And so what we have today is an epidemic of parents just want to have a good time. We want the kids to have a good time, we want them to be happy. I'll do whatever they want, I'll I'll go in debt. Uh look, the average young family right now, it would probably scare you to death to know how much in debt they are for the experiences they're trying to provide their children.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yeah. How do how do families get out of that? What what when a family if a family finds themselves in that situation, their kids are basically running the home, they realize it. What what are some steps they can take to get into that?
SPEAKER_00Uh the
Becoming The Adult In The Home
SPEAKER_00first step, somebody has to decide to be the adult. Somebody has to decide they're going to be the parent and give it some guidance and direction. Um, where you say, no, we're not eating happy meals at McDonald's tonight. Uh, we're gonna eat in a sit-down restaurant with real food somewhere. Uh no, we're not going to Disney World for the third time this year just because you you want to go. Yeah. Uh and and look, good parenting, uh you you always explain. You help them understand why. Um, you know, my parents, my generation, because I said so. If you don't like it, I'll give you a reason to like it. And they meant it. You know. Uh today, uh, parents are on their knees apologizing to a four-year-old that can't go to Disney World for the third time this year. It's ridiculous. Um, somebody's got to give it direction. And this is important. Uh, mom and dad have to be in agreement on these things. Otherwise, you have conflict, two parents at one another, and the kids feed off that.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_00They're not stupid. They know, they know there's dissension in the ranks, and so they they feed on that and they use it to their advantage. Uh, I've seen small children use it to their advantage. And so, you know, what we need is a generation to grow up, and I'm talking about the adults who need to grow up. Um, so many of them are so afraid their child is gonna be behind other children. Uh their child won't be as good at the sport as other children. Uh their child will be behind in school. I mean, we we've got people Wanting them to learn algebra in kindergarten, you know. And the truth is, all the tests say uh we're less intelligent as a society than we were 30 years ago. So all of this rush, rush, rush to accomplishment is not accomplishing anything. But we lie to ourselves and we tell ourselves it does. You know, I tell parents all the time, I believe this with every fiber of my body.
Let Kids Grow Up Slower
SPEAKER_00Best thing you can do when your child starts school is hold them back a year. That's got nothing to do with athletics. Hold them back a year because you're giving that child a gift of maturity that cannot be um given later.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_00See? And so you see it all the time. Go around and look at the average preschool class. There's a few of them that are excelling, and there's several of them, they're way behind the others. Why? Because children mature at different rates, and we're in such a hurry to make these children brilliant adults that we don't let them have a childhood.
SPEAKER_01Right, which is important to their development.
SPEAKER_00They need a exactly vital to their development. The American education system has come out the last few years with these new guidelines that children need more recess, they need more playtime. Well, that's funny. When I was in school, we were doing all that. Yeah all those years ago, they had that figured out. And then we decided we needed eight subjects a day, and a five-year-old needed to sit in a desk for seven hours a day, and we want to put them on medicine because they can't sit still for long. Exactly. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So this idea of subjective truth and feelings and how that runs our culture and how it's infiltrating our families. Um
What Gives A Family Real Worth
SPEAKER_01in what ways does God define the worth of a family?
SPEAKER_00I think scripture's clear. The worth of a family is a family that lives to honor Him, to obey Him. That is our purpose for being here. He is King, He is Lord, we are His subjects. So Scripture teaches us who we're to be as individuals, but also as families. One of my boys, I raised three boys. And I remember one of them one time, he wanted to do something, and I told him you can't do that. And he told me he was tired of being a preacher's kid. You know, I'm certainly not the first preacher that ever heard that, but uh I said to him, why? Well, I can't do anything. I said, okay, let me explain it to you. I don't operate our home because I'm a pastor. The principles we operate under, regardless of what job I might be doing in life, the principles would be the same. Right. So guess what? If I was a doctor, a lawyer, a bricklayer, you still couldn't do that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00You know, and so um, yeah, it's too easy to fall into the trap of this is who we are because of our status in society and what kind of job we do and this kind of thing. Family has to be defined by understanding your worth in Christ, you're created by Christ, give him honor and glory, and to live in obedience to him. Everything else is a byproduct, your job, your recreation, your relationships, everything else comes out of that understanding. It it's it is what should be your Christian worldview. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Amen. How
Preparing Kids For A Loud World
SPEAKER_01can um parents, what are some practical ways that parents can build their kids up to prepare them for the world that they're about to enter?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's difficult. Uh, I don't think everybody anybody has that answer exactly right. And I say that for this reason. I think we're probably living in a time where parenting your children, uh, giving them the values you want them to have, instilling hope, uh, expectation of a future in them is probably more difficult than it's ever been in my lifetime. And the reason for that is um information is so much more readily available. So many of these children are already on social media. There are so many influences in their lives that you you can't control, uh, no matter how hard you try. And um so uh I'm I'm not a hundred percent sure. I think you've you've got to teach them godly principles and you've got to teach them why. And you gotta you gotta get on your knees and give them to the Lord every day. Um because I think we all know He gives them to you for a season. Right. Uh you're the primer. You're there to help them get ready to launch for life. So if you can help them understand they're created by holy God, their worth is found in their creator, not in what they do for a living or what neighborhood they live in or how much money they make, but in who they are in Christ. Um they'll go forward, hopefully, to make good decisions, positive decisions. One of my favorite statements uh is we make our decisions, and then our decisions make us. You know? And so I think as a parent, you work as hard as you can to teach them uh good decision-making skills, uh coping skills, problem-solving skills, and that those should be based in their Christian faith and what the Word of God teaches. Um and if you do that, you've done a whale of a job.
SPEAKER_01One
Hope For Parents Of Grown Kids
SPEAKER_01last word before we end. What about um for the parents who their kids are grown and their kids are making decisions that they are not pleased with, and they feel like maybe a part of that is their fault or they're questioning or doubting themselves. What do you what do you say a word of encouragement to those parents?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, first of all, I never met a child yet that came with a manual when they were born. Uh, every parent is navigating those waters, uh, hopefully, assuming you're a good parent, um, as best you can, as best you know how, and you're gonna make mistakes, and that's okay, because you're not perfect. And your child, every child, reaches a place where in their own personality, their own determination, they have kind of decided who they're gonna be and what direction they're gonna go. And that usually happens long before you turn them loose. I personally believe it happens on the average teenager today, between about 14 and 16 years of age. They've already decided you're not gonna live my life for me. Yeah, I'm gonna live my life. So those early formative years are vital. But you need to know as a parent, no matter how hard you try, sometimes a child will make a decision that you'll disagree with. But at some point, they become responsible for the decisions they make. And um, you can't feel guilty for that. Um, I I preference that by saying um that you didn't cause that. You know, if a young man grows up in a home with his mother being beaten by his daddy every week and he grows up to beat his wife, well, dad can't forgive himself for that. He's got to own that. Uh but if you raise that same child in a loving uh environment and treated the mother with honor and respect as a wife should be treated, as a mother should be treated, and and your son ends up beating his wife, well, that's not on you. That's the decision he made. Um and um it's difficult, it's hard. It's hard. I got a pastor friend who has three kids, two of them serving the Lord in the ministry, love Jesus. One uh walked away from the faith, told him he's a practicing atheist, and he don't want to discuss it anymore. And my pastor friend said to me, you know, I one thing I know is it has to be his faith. It can't be my faith through him.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_00And so we pray every day that God'll convict him and bring him back. That's all we can do. So the truth is, as hard as you try, a lot of things are gonna be out of your control at some point.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Amen.
Final Thanks And Goodbye
SPEAKER_01Well, thank you, Pastor. Appreciate you being here.
SPEAKER_00Thank you.
SPEAKER_01All right, guys, we'll see you on the next one.